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Who am I?

Hey there, welcome to my blog. My name is Sian, I’m 28, I live in Scotland and I have a chronic illness called M.E.  What is M.E.? M.E stands for myalgic encephalomyelitis. It is also known as chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).  How long have I had ME?  I developed M.E 2 years ago at the start of September. I was about to start college to study beauty therapy and the day before I had a headache. Ok, no big deal, everyone has headaches. By the evening it had developed into a migraine (you know, when you can’t stand the light, or sounds, and you feel like you’re going to throw up). I didn’t think too much of it and hoped it would be gone by the morning. Well, it didn’t go. In fact, I had that same migraine constantly for 6 months straight.  What did you do?  I got on with it. I started college the next day, and I attended every day I was supposed to until I couldn’t handle it anymore, which was Christmas 2016.  What ...
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It's getting to me

I am feeling sick to death of this dizziness. 


I had a small break from it, I think I managed to go about five days without an attack, but I'm now back to having it daily. 

It's the kind of dizziness you feel when you drink way too much alcohol and you're still sort of drunk the next morning. My GP switched me to an antihistamine called Cinnarizine with the opinion that it might be Menieres disease. It works most of the time, but it isn't guaranteed. I had to go into town this afternoon, and as soon as I got out of the car an attack came on. I took a dose of medication and an hour and thirty minutes later, I'm still dizzy and have crawled back into bed. 

Yesterday it quickly came on too. I made Denys and I lunch and then got myself ready to go for a walk, but as I was getting my shoes, I had an attack come on. It was a lovely, sunny afternoon so I was going to have a walk via the seafront (having grown up in the middle of the UK, seeing the sea is still a novelty), instead I had to go to bed. 



My mood was very low last night. It's days like that when I start to ask questions, such as "what is my place in the world?" and "will I ever be able to work or study again?". I start to question my purpose, and what the point of me is (as an identity crisis, rather than an 'I want to end it' thought). I wallowed for a while and did some crying, and then Denys picked me back up again - he's very good at that. 


I hope my doctor and I can get to the bottom of what's happening, and that we can treat it. I am feeling particularly fed up of spending a large portion of my time in bed, especially with summer just around the corner. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Thanks for reading. 
That ME Girl 



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